Why It Happens

Covert incest typically occurs in families where one parent (the shadow parent) does not
actively participate in family affairs, thus setting the stage for the other parent (the
invasive parent) to turn to a child for emotional support. The invasive parent in effect
makes the child a surrogate spouse who is forced to take on the responsibilities of the
shadow parent. The roles are essentially reversed; instead of the parent looking after the
child, the child is responsible for the parent's well being. This is a terrible burden for a
child to carry, as a child is incapable of meeting the emotional needs of an adult.